Marriage and Human Sexuality

Marriage and Human Sexuality

by Bernalt Velasquez

In this day and age, the western world is very hedonistic. Marriage is not taken seriously anymore. The gift of sex is being abused and overused. More than two weeks ago, I spoke to a very self-indulgent woman. As I told her that I was going to wait until I get married with my girlfriend to have sex, she looked at me as though I was weird. She began to tell me that marriage (or monogamy) is not the best way to be happy and claims that there are “studies” that confirm this. According to her, making a lifelong commitment to a spouse would be futile because you never know when you might meet someone better than your spouse or if you might stop loving your spouse. So the idea of marriage must be loosened to some kind of contract with a clause of opting out if you meet someone better or stop loving that person. She says that God created sex and because of this, it should be expressed freely without any restriction such as marriage. She sees no harm with people being promiscuous. If sex becomes “tamed” in her view, then people will become unhappy. If you want to have 8 girlfriends at the same time, so be it. She thinks that if it makes you happy, then do it. All in all, she says that society needs to take off the taboo that is attached to sex and let it be “naturally expressed.” If this is done, society will be happier.

As she expressed her beliefs on marriage and human sexuality, I began to think about what she told me. As a young, robust, hormone-raging man, I understand the sin of fornication like Einstein understands physics. There is an immense amount of pleasure that is obtained by indulging in adultery and fornication. For a young man or woman to ponder whether they should save themselves for marriage has become very difficult because free sex and promiscuity is ubiquitous. That’s like putting a bowl of delicious cookies fresh out of the oven on the table and telling a child to wait for 30 minutes until it can be eaten. Do you think the child is going to wait that long if he or she thinks there’s no good reason to wait? As I finished reading a book called “The Science before Science: A Guide to 21^st Century Thinking” by Anthony Rizzi, he mentioned that all humans strive for that which is ultimately good. In other words, we all strive to have a life of “Christlikeness” whether we believe in Him or not. He also says this: “If it is real good we’ve chosen, it increases our being; while if it is not, it contracts being (increases disorder).” Could that be possible? Our society seems to believe that promiscuity is the ultimate good and this will increase our being. Do people even acknowledge how to truly increase our being? Do they even know how to obtain that which is truly ultimately good? If we are to pursue ultimate goodness, then sex being done only during marriage, with one single mate, will be a means to this end. Could this really be done? I began to think about why marriage exists to begin with. Why is this institution imposed on sexually active human beings?

In my current understanding, God created us as sexual beings with the intent of pleasure and the purpose of procreation within the confines of marriage between a man and a woman. I’ve also heard that marriage is a sacred institution established by God for the primary purpose of bringing Him glory and raising a family. In this covenantal relationship, the husband faithfully loving his wife is supposed to exemplify Christ faithfully loving the church; it is supposed to show unity and sacrifice. When a married couple has children, they are to raise them up in a godly fashion. This is supposed to create a strong family. I think that Ephesians 5:22-33 describes the nature of marriage. The most interesting verse is v. 25: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

I’m interested to see what you guys think about my friend’s view of sexuality and marriage, about society’s view of this, and my understanding of marriage and sexuality. Perhaps my understanding could be further supplemented by you guys since you are the ones that are married. I look forward to what you guys have for me. Thanks and God bless you all.